Why do parents always lose their children at the KMCC? As a child, my mom would take 5 children to the store, and we never got lost. My mom made sure we were always with her, and also we were not allowed to run in the store or touch anything without permission. Today, I hear "We have a lost child" or "Code Adam" at least 10 times everytime I am in the BX. Today I was in and found a little lost child. She was very sweet, but was running around calling out for her mother, with no shoes on! I thought for sure her mother would be looking for her, but I waited and it took nearly 10-15 minutes for the parent to retrieve the child. And the parent seemed the least bit phased with the incident. I could only think that MAYBE the child was playing in the food court and ran away without the mother seeing or noticing, but even then, why would the child simply run away? If your child is old enough to play by themselves, then also, please have them know their name, your name, and a phone number. If the number is too much, at least the names... And teach them what to do if they are lost, not simply run around, but find a trustworthy adult. Accidents happen but all too often children are left to their own devices in large stores, and to me, this is upsetting. If you cannot handle your child in a store, then please respect the rest of the community and come at a time when you can leave them with a friend or spouse. I don't appreciate nearly being knocked over by running children. I don't appreciate being ran into by children pushing carts. I don't appreciate them breaking things that I might want to purchase. It also breaks my heart that you do not care enough about your child to keep up with them. Accidents happen, yes, but ultimately, you are responsible for your child. Keep them safe for the benefit of everyone. 

That's why I use Duct Tape when I allow my son out of the house. You can tape him to you, or tape his hand to the cart, or even strap him to one of the poles in the front of the KMCC while you're shopping! The next best thing is Gorilla Glue, but it's hard to wash out of their hair. 

it is seriously because people are STUPID and think their child will not be kidnapped on a military base. they don't pay much attention to their child when they are shopping and they wander away from eachother. when we were there, my dh and i were sitting in the food court and we seen a couple with a toddler and a baby in a stroller. the couple took the toddler into the playrooom and LEFT THE BABY outside the playroom by their table. they would glance over every once in a while, i guess to make sure he is still there.... HOW HARD IS IT TO TAKE YOUR KID IN WITH YOU??? my point. SOME PARENTS ARE STUPID!!!! 

OMG robyn are you serious?!!!! THat is aweful!!!! anyone can just nab a baby in like 5 secs...doesn't take much to grab a child and walk out.. and I agree with you steph..i think parents are getting lazy and don't want to discipline, its easier to let them run wild than fight with them...i think most people think that if they found a lost kid they would just bring them back. I remember losing my nephew at the beach (i turned around for 5 secs) literally took 5 secs for him to disapear!!! When I ran wild all over the beach looking for him (at once not 20 mins later) I had to call the police everything...took 30 mins to find him because he was 8 years old and I guess he just started walking (looking for shells) doesn't take much...I worry about crazy people...so I am a bit over protective lol 

Marissa Omg - what are you thinking? Thats crazy! Thats horrible! You cannot - I repeat - you cannot just put duct tape on your kids! You have to wrap them in a towel first - or have them wear a long sleeve shirt and pants - the duct tape is really sticky and tends to really hurt when you pull it off, lol. I personally wouldn't suggest the gorilla glue - I read the label and to removed it, it says use a sand paper or other tools, lol. I would say stick with the duct tape, lol. Seriously, I agree that there are way too many kids running around without supervision and discipline. Problem is (at least part of it) that parents are afraid to spank or discipline their children now adays. Some make such a big deal outta spanking (which is my method) and others. I am not telling anyone to spank their children but I am using a method that sure worked for me when I was growing up. I remember being so scared my mom was going to spank me when I brought home a bad note from the teacher - trust me it didn't take much. Yeah I still misbehaved but that was my job - I was a kid. I remember my Nana beating me with a kitkat bar or a STAR mag because I misbehaved in the checkout line, lol. I won't sit there for 10 minutes and yell at my kids and never do anything, I might yell but I will tear their butts up and they know it. I will not say my kids are perfect - my kids misbehave and get into stuff they are not suppose to just as kids will do. I don't spank them all day long everyday either. I do however let them know I will take them to the bathroom and tear their butts up if they keep acting the way they are. I have seen so many kids in public (not just the KMCC) that sit there and act up and yell at their parents, swing at their parents and talk back and run off. I sit in line and say to myself "please please just give me 2 minutes with the kid" - it irritates me that people complain about the kids and then complain at the "method" of discipline a parent will use. I don't think just sitting there and letting your child scream at the top of their lungs because you said no to something and you now are ignoring their behavior to prove your point to them is a form of discipline. (just my opinion) It unnerves me - no - I said that wrong - It drives me mad. It makes me want to spank your child for you. If I don't want to hear my own child scream, what in the heck makes you think I want to listen to yours do it. I think I keep a pretty firm hand on my kids and I do think however they are better behaved than alot of kids I see over here. I wrote this to give my opinion as I am sure everyone else will do, I didn't do it to get an uprise or piss anyone off but I am sure it did and I will hear about it. I also agree with the part about lazy parents - I see quite a bit of it. We should have a step in method - where if you go and see a child acting up and the parent being lazy or not doing anything then you can walk up and step in. Maybe say something like "Excuse me but your child is being a rotten brat and since your not going to do anything about it I am forced to use the step in method that is protected by law under section 123.456 in paragraph 7 line 8. I have several options available. I personally suggest taking your child to the bathroom and making his butt so red he can't sit down straight for the rest of the day but I will also accept you making him stand in time out (yes I said time out) or even better you taking him home and letting him run wild in your own home where he can show his butt while screaming, hitting you and running around like a chicken with his head cut off. That way you have your way and can be lazy and not discipline and yet the rest of the world doesn't have to suffer and see it or hear it or even deal with it." (Like I said - Just my opinion - but then of course not everyone can appreciate my sick sense of humor, lol) In my home I have a strick policy - I will love your kids as I do my own but let them screw up and break something or hit one another or act up and I will tear their butt up just as quick as I do my own. My friends all know this and share in this policy. If my kids go over to their house I expect them to treat my kids as they would their own. I don't want my kids over at a Adults house where they let their kids run wild or will let my kids run wild. I want them to be around people who will make my children walk the chalk line and make them behave in my absence. Just my opinion. I was at a airport in Cincinnati, and it was just my daughters and me. We were tired and hungry and waiting on a never ending layover. I took my kids to the food court to grab some food and my 5 yr old put her back pack down and decided to walk off while I was looking at the menu. I was asking her what she wanted to eat and I looked down at her and she was gone. I called for her and she was only maybe 10 ft away from me looking at a guy with a seeing eye dog. She came back over to me and I leaned down and told her if she EVER walked away from me while we were in the airport I would beat her black and blue (yes - it scared the sh*t outta me). A lady behind me in line stated it was disgusting of me to talk about beating my child. I stood up - swallowed my anger - an asked her if she had kids. She said no and that I didn't deserve to have mine if I talked about beating my kids. I told her that I didn't give a fat rats a$$ what she thought and that if she didn't like it she could go call someone who gave a sh*t on one of the millions of phones that were around us and tell them I would be in that terminal over there as I pointed. I swear several other people in line behind me clapped. Just to clarify my definition of a beating - its a spanking that has more than 2 wacks to it, lol. PS - I guess - let the hate mail begin. 

You won't get any argument or berating from me, hellkat. I believe in spanking also! It's not abuse if it's done properly and for the right reason. Kudos. 

No arguement here either! 

Yeah, but if you put them in long sleeved clothing.....they can wriggle out. 

LOL no i agree with you...I REALLY don't want to spank (and right now I think my child is too young) but I know one day it WILL happen...yes if we are at home I will probably try "other methods" but I think with some kids time outs and etc don't work..they just don't ...anywhos I was abused as a kid (not by my father) thats why i don't want to spank but if it came to it I sure will...i really don't care what everyone thinks...now I wont hit them with objects or do it to the point where there butts are bruised (hitting with an object and or anywhere else i think IS a form of abuse) but I do think descipline IS necessary...people ARE afraid to descipline, because you got those people that never had kids or probably got perfect children that they never had to spank cut in and say its not good. Now yes I have stepped in (at the BX before) and told a woman that she needed help because her 16 month old daughter grabbed a candy bar (and no she didn't tell her no or anything) and started playing with it..she hit her HARD across the face...i stepped in and said IF YOU EVER hit that baby for something so stupid like that I will personally bend you over my knee and see how you like it.I mean I could understand if she said no once or twice...and even take the candy bar and smack her on her hand or something but backhand over the face NO SIR!! Anywhos there is a fine line between abuse and descipline.... and hellkat: alot of adults say stuff like that to their kids when they are scared...but we all know you where just happy she wasn't kidnapped....when i was little my dad said the same thing and the ONE time we accidently got seperated ( i was like 7) all I did was sit there and cry because i thought I would get my a** whooped..and after my dad found me he gave me a hug...but I DID know if I intentionally walked away and got lost he would've whooped me. Anywhos my dad had 6 of us (all around the same age) and well we knew better than to do something bad or we WOULD get in trouble...I just at this young of age don't want to spank my kid..once he can understand you know i do this..this is bad..i get spanked etc... 

I think there is a clear difference between spanking as a punishment and abuse. If you are simply beating your kids into submission, then I would consider that going too far. If you are punishing them, via spanking, then it is acceptable. I would hope that the first response is not to hit a child but spanking in culmination with other forms of discipline is effective in my opinion. How a parent disciplines their child, as long as it is not abuse, is not the business of another person. Who is someone else to judge you for doing what you believe is best for your children? My parents spanked us as a last resort, and I think there were times that it was genuinely the best response... 

I am one of the rude people in the stores that tell kids to stop what they are doing and go and find their parents. The dirty looks little kids give me make me want to beat them. 

I spank. Not alot, but I spank. I am the Mama and she-who-must-be-obeyed. Not because I am on a power kick, but because as a parent I currently know what is best for my 2.5 year old Visigoth/Hun. He has no concept of what will hurt him and what won't hurt him, thus, when I jerk a knot in his tail it is generally to correct a behavior that could have devastating consequences. Not because I enjoy correcting him in public. To the contrary, I am embarrassed to have to do it in public, but I do it nonetheless. I wish these young kids having kids around here would look into the parenting classes the Air Force AND the Army provide! Kids don't come with instruction manuals! 

We've never spanked my son. He's 9. I think you can raise kids without spanking. 

100% agree with ducky 

There was a shop near us in the states that had a sign that said "Unattended children will be given a puppy and an espresso" The real shame is the idiot parents need a license to own the puppy but any rutting fool can breed a child. 

i think it should start becoming a requirement for people to take children education classes...i did in high school..it included everything to ways to discipline (not just one method but many) how to do basics (like how to care for a child) and even took those babies home that have the chip in them and they act just like a baby does...now yes that won't prepare them for EVERYTHING but its a start!! and i am also sick of some stay at home moms thrusting their kids on other people...yes going out on a date or something is not a bad thing or mommy time..i am talking about some women just hire a babysitter or take them to daycare DON'T have a job and do nothing all day long...doesn't happen so much in the military but I have seen it in the civilian world (like my SIL) I know to many girls that had kids because they wanted to trap guys and well A) that NEVER works and B) they are so ignored its unbelievable!! and BTW i think states should start making teenagers when they get pregnant make a COURT ORDER for them to take any and every class possible... 

I remember being a kid and if I ever left my parents side...I would get my A$$ beat. Parents let their kids run wild and then they really don't pay attention to them. Sometimes when I visit my family I will go with them to the store and wonder off....Then I will go to customer service and tell them I lost my mom and tell them to tell her to come to the front...really funny times 

I agree Marissa. It is completely unnecessary to hit your children and I love the feel good term called spanking. Try "spanking" your spouse or another adult and see where that lands you. I believe it is called assault. Yet, we get to call it discipline when inflicting it on those that can't fight back. It amazes me the parents who think spanking their children makes them a good parent and proudly proclaim on a public forum how they spank their children. As far as the one who threatened to beat their child black and blue, I'm glad you got a tongue lashing. Try loudly threatening your spouse in a public place like that and see how loving your spouse feels toward you afterwards. Oh the irony of the ones who hit their children suggesting for others to take a parenting course. I suggest you take your own advice and find better ways of dealing with your children. You expect them to do better when you can't think of anything better than to hit them. If you want your children to show others respect, try showing them respect. Respect begets respect. As far as leaving a baby by a table while taking the toddler into a playroom, big deal. How paranoid can people be? The chances of someone deciding to kidnap a baby in a huge mall with tons of people around while the parents are several feet away and getting out the door are about....hmmmm...I would say NIL! It is our business when people hit their kids because they grow up like the adults on this forum to inflict it on the next generation. No one deserves to be hit. It was okay to hit women at one time in the name of discipline too. Isn't it wonderful that the law overrode those that thought it wasn't anyone elses business whether the man hit his wife or not? I'll be glad when this dispicable practice is outlawed. 

You know Bonnie, I agree with you. But, I have had this conversation before, and it always ends with the people who spank proclaiming that I am raising a heathen with no morals or rules or guidelines, and I'm tired of having the conversation. I can pretty much envision what direction this thread is going to take, and it's not really worth the energy. 

My parents spanked me and Im not a violent vigilante person going around assaulting people. You're making generalizations about spanking. Despite if your parents spanked you or not, you make choices to do things in your life. You make the choice to be violent. The only person who decides what you do is you. You decide to spank your children; no one forces you to. My husband spanked me before and it was kinda nice! :) He he! 

My husband spanked me before and it was kinda nice! :) He he! OMG, no Steph, that's abuse! Didn't you know? lmao Bonnie, I'm just gonna throw this out there. You don't have children, do you? Just like the person that yelled at "hellkat" didn't have children. Funny. It usually takes quite a lot for me to spank my kids. But I do it. "Hellkat" is my bff, and she treats my kids as her own, as she said. I have no problem with her spanking my girls if they deserve it. As for myself, I'm rather uncomfortable punishing other people's kids but after over a year of "hellkat" yelling at me for NOT spanking her girls, i've finally started. And again, I see no problem with it. 

Oh yeah, and trust me. She openly threatens to beat her spouse all the time. It's pretty funny actually! But again, you have to know us to understand and TRUST ME her hubby would deserve it! 

From Ducky: I am the Mama and she-who-must-be-obeyed. If you must be obeyed, then why do you have to spank? If you have to spank your kid, it must mean he/she is not obeying you, right? I always joke, when I'm at my wit's end with my son, "ahhh, it would be so much easier if I started spanking." Not spanking takes a lot more parenting than spanking does. But I faithfully stick with time outs, and taking away toys and privileges. Yes, it is VERY hard to be all dressed, snacks packed, in the stroller, and have a friend meeting you at the park, but then have to stay home, because your child isn't behaving and that is the consequence. But it works. And no one has to hit anyone else. I just don't feel right using physical punishment on anyone, especially a small child. It just feels so...wrong. Hitting my child is the last thing I want to do. I love him. Some people on here alluded to spousal abuse- it is similar. Abusive men always say, I hit you because I love you. Because you wouldn't do what I wanted you to. The same, and just as sick. Plus the old catch-22: do you spank your kid for hitting someone else? Hello, hypocrisy? 

As for the kids not being watched, it irks me too, but I have been trying to take a different and more positive view of the situation. The reason we have to watch our children like hawks is because we feel like there are so many predators out there, but I think really, the problem is we are all strangers to each other and there is a definite lack of community. 50 years ago, almost everyone knew everyone else when they went to the park or their local grocery store. I think people looked out for each other more then. There were arguably just as many "bad people" around, but everyone kinda kept an eye on everyone else; the whole "it takes a village" idea. So maybe we should all try to keep an eye on all the kids around us, whether they are ours or not. Some ppl on here said they do address a child that's not theirs when they see them wandering. I think this is good, but it doesn't have to be done rudely or with malice. If I see kids around when I'm out and about, I try to keep an eye on them and my own (not always easy), and watch that they don't do anything dangerous or get snatched up by the boogeyman. I wish we would all do this for each other. 

crazyK was spanked as a child- I think that pretty much explains everything :) 

Bonnie & Rachel, I understand that you have opinions, just as I do, and you voiced it just as I did. However, I am not going to tell you you are wrong for believing the way you do. You do it your way and I will do it mine. 

I don't spank either but trying to draw a correlation between spanking kids and beating your spouse is just silly. I don't ground my husband either. Nor do I tell him he can't have dessert if he doesn't eat dinner, or what time to go to bed. I don't check and make sure he did all his work every day and take away his computer if he didn't do a good enough job. I do those things with my kids though. Does that make me abusive since I won't punish my husband the same way? I am also a proud member of the MYOB club. If spanking works for someone then so be it. I'd rather they spank their kids than see them skateboarding in the mall or running wild while the parent says "Oh isn't it cute the way little Johnny knocks people down!" Frankly, the people who don't watch their kids have absolutely no business telling others how to parent. As for the suggestion that no one is going to kidnap a child in a crowded mall, well, hate to break it to you but that's the best time for someone to snatch a child. If there are only 3 or 4 other people around you can give descriptions and find the person. If there are a few hundred it's going to be complete chaos and you will probably never see your child alive again. 2100 times every day the police are called because of a missing child. I absolutely guarantee that the vast majority of those parents thought their child was perfectly safe and nothing would happen to them. If only takes once and it only takes a second. 

Thank you Bahet. crazyK, I love that you still have fun with your parents! 

Bottom line folks is you know your child's whereabouts at all times and you do not leave them alone in public places. It is that simple. Those who have had their children abducted, etc. will say it happened in a blink of an eye and there is no "image" of what an abductor or a pedophile is. They are your neighbors, teachers, doctors, store owners, and yes even military and their dependends. Ignorance is no acceptable excuse for leaving your child in a public place because you seem to think that "tons of people" around will prevent it. Nope it won't. Ask the parents of children who have drowned in swimming pools with tons of people around. We must be on alert and protect our babies and sadly....there are horrible evil people out there who can easily grab your little one. Maybe this message should be posted everywhere since the lack of common sense and a blase attitude of "it won't happen to me" seems to run rampant in these parts. You ain't in Kansas no more Dorothy. 

I'm a mom of two boys 4 and 8 and when i tell them to not leave my said they listen and obey,so to see chlderen in the mall running wild or small childeren(like 5-9) walking alone to the bus in the morning it fumes me to know parents leave their childeren so unprotective in this community(others as well).As for disapline i do spank rarely but i do its used like other parents here as a last resort for misdeeds.Growing up in a family with 5 childeren we were spank and it didnt turn us into horriable people we didnt fight others unless they were bullies(typically from those parents that didnt beleive their child could do such a thing)and were never punish for there ways. Overall i see it this way its a clear dfference form abuse and a spanking and if you can keep disapline in your house without spankings its the method that you choose and please dont down on others who choose other means.As long as there not beating a child I.E punching,throwing them into objects,leaving heavy bruses burning them the list can go on when it comes to using the actually term abuse.Be careful of these since there are alot of good parents who loose there childeren to the system because of these alligations